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The old adage of “I don’t like to play games” is still around today. So with this self professed claim of hating such games… why do people still so often feel the need to play them in the process of meeting each other?

At some point in time in the relationship, the real person is always going to either shine through or expose their true darker self! On behalf of those that do find themselves dragged into the “game”, I think perhaps it is often times simply a reaction of trying to put our best foot forward and present the best self possible. But buyer beware! Look closely at the relationship trip you are about to embark on…

When you play games in your relationship, you are not being completely honest with yourself or your significant other. Since the basis of any fantastic relationship is honesty and trust, playing games is usually the wrong choice. You don’t want to build a relationship on misconceptions and lies or by breaking the other person down.

Rather than playing hard to get and making the other person think that you aren’t interested at all or have 20 other people chasing you – why not take a different path and show your interest from the initial introduction to one another. Don’t you want to know from the beginning if the relationship even has a chance before you “open mouth and insert foot” or someone’s self esteem gets in the way of a meaningful beginning to something great?!

Also, rather than playing the victim in your realtionship and constantly whining that your significant other doesn’t love you, care about you or is taking advantage of the relationship in some form or manner. How about honestly telling your partner exactly how you feel? I keep a crystal ball in my office as a symbol to remind myself and my patients that we can’t really read each other’s minds!

The issues of expectations and what we imagine that our partners should either do, say, or just plain know about our feelings, desires, and romantic notions is a huge problem for many couples. The reality of how this whole relationship concept should play out is simply a “script” in each individual’s mind. Unless we actually communicate honestly and from the heart – love can unfortunately become a game of power and control.

What do you think?

Do you think that by playing game you will get the most out of your relationship?

Do you play games in the beginning and then soften as the relationship becomes solid? Or do you feel that playing games starts the relationship off on the wrong foot?